How are You, Really?

How are You, Really? 

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I don't know how many times I was asked that question and just smiled and said fine. Brushed off the stress and just took it all in stride. I was afraid to let someone in. The amount of times I wanted to say, I feel like I’m drowning, stressed, overwhelmed, unsupported probably will surprise you. I think we are scared as a society to actually express how we feel. We hide behind the FINE of it all and just get by, hoping that someone will do the hard thing and actually pry us open and get us to tell what’s going on. 

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But here’s the thing, you don’t have to say you’re fine. You can chalk something up to stress or overwhelm. You can be truthful and still answer the question, those that care enough about you will sit down and have the conversation to check in on you. But how many of us are willing to actually sit down, in silence and see how someone is doing. How many times do we want someone to be just fine so that we can feel alright. 

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The truth is that we need to let people feel seen and heard. We need to give them spaces to let it all out. Hell, 90% of my instagram posts talk about this exact issue. Guys struggle to process their emotions because they were told not to have emotions. They were told to be stoic and strong, told to fight through and be tough. And it’s good to do those things. There is a place for those things. But doing those things when life has you overwhelmed and underwater doesn’t get you anywhere. 

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So when someone asks how you are, maybe you tell the truth, maybe you make it sound better than it is, but when someone asks you how you are, maybe they actually want to know. Tell them. I think you’d be surprised to know how many people deeply care about you. So here’s the challenge, text a friend how they are doing, reach out to someone - let them know you care. The world is better when everyone is more than just fine. But vibrant, be joyful, be excited, be underwater, be stressed. Don’t be fine. Don’t be afraid to express how it’s really going. You get more out of life the more you give. 

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