Reach out to the Hand in Front of You

Going to be honest, I started writing this with one idea in mind and it kind of just morphed into something else. Still important. Our circle matters.

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I think we think about fitness wrong. I think so many people see the physical transformation of an individual and celebrate it. If you’ve been following me for a while then you know that I am not a big fan of the external achievements. And in truth the physical transformation of sticking too and finding a fitness routine is pretty impressive. But it glosses over the mental transformation and makes it a very individualized experience. If I’ve learned anything over the past couple years it is that avoid the mental side of something and making it individualized doesn’t get you anywhere, so I am going to explore just that today.

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First up, the mental side of fitness. Working out sucks. There I said it. It takes time, it can be physically grueling and even intimidating to get started. That’s just the physical side. On the mental side it is also intimidating to get started and you have no idea where to even start. You can watch others and just follow along but in the back on your mind you are going to be questioning if something is even working. Even if you are working with a trainer or a program the same doubts will eventually creep in, as the progress isn’t seen and you begin to question things. That doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of the mental side of showing up and finding consistency even when progress can be rarely seen.

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It can be humiliating and frustrating to think you are getting stronger at something only to attempt a personal best and fall flat or if you let comparison get the better of you and you start to think of yourself as inadequate. Nothing good comes from comparing your day three to someone’s year three. We are all on different journeys and comparison will just keep you alienated from your own progress.

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Speaking of alienation, that leads me to the second point. Most of the time fitness is an individualized endeavor. Most people go to the gym, they put their headphones in and do their workout on their time. Check their phone between sets and just carry on. It is an isolating experience and it can be lonely. And there is beauty in that, sometimes we need a singular personalized reason to keep going., But that doesn’t make it any less lonely or any less difficult.

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Because the truth is, when we combine the mental side and we free ourselves of the alienation that comes with fitness - and this can be applied to life as well - big things start to happen. This is where group fitness comes in. This is where community comes in. This is where the title of this entry comes in. All those people in a room with you are rooting and cheering for you. Regardless if its your first time or you’ve been there awhile. There is a collective pulling in the same direction.

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There is a push and invisible field of motivation that goes beyond just and individual or a group of individuals, it becomes greater than the sum of its parts. That’s the beauty of fitness, which is a microcosm of life itself. We do more and we become better when those around us want us to actually succeed. When we can get away from the isolation and loneliness and individualization of thinking we have to be the best. When we surrender to ourselves, drop down to our knees and in our moment of weakness we reach out for the hand in front of us knowing that that hand, those people want to lift us up. If we want to go fast we can go at it alone, but if we want to go far we go together.

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There is no enlightenment or celebration for refusing help or brushing off the hand reaching out. That’s just the ego trying to maintain control. But when we look around a room or in a sea full of strangers and see their collective push for themselves, you find a little something extra for yourself. You find a little extra for that person next to you.

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That’s the beauty of fitness as I mentioned early and it’s the beauty of life. Having that community, having a wave of hands reach out and say that I got you, it’s ok. You can fail or succeed but at the end of the day I still have you.

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Your circle matters, stop trying to brute force and individualize your way through. Trust me, I tried but it doesn't work. Take the hand offered and watch your wings fly.